My Thesis For Today

How the relationship between MY church and God reflect/impact MY relationship with my wife.

The Bible talks of how a husband and wife interact and love/submit to one another in a way that mirrors the relationship of Jesus and His church.  I have believed this the entire time that I’ve been married.  My view of my church and how my church relates to Jesus has impacted my marriage.  After switching churches from NTBC to The Village, I have experienced severe healing and incredible changes in my marriage. My marriage has transitioned from facades to self-care and submission to Heather.  I now desire to lay my life down for Heather in everyday decisions. I have prayed for friends at my old church to know, “You deserve better.”  I am overwhelmingly happy for the difficulties that lead my family to our new church home with a new church family that made loving Jesus – a way of life, full of creativity, hard times that include healing, with Pastors and brothers who lead by example with vulnerability.

Heather and I are (sometimes/usually/ok-not all the time/still often) sooo happy.  I feel like we are now on our honeymoon as we have healed so much and are now closer than ever before.  I would like to write my vowels*  and marry Heather again in light of where we are now.  My heart beats deeper as I experience the joy of submission and sacrificial level love.  While Heather and I are in this new Heavenly Honeymoon Season, I have had to stop doing sales for a few weeks (to let my team catch up) which has provided extra space for dating.  Meanwhile after stopping, the largest sale in 20 years came in recently and I just showed up.  We now have a big opportunity to talk to Tucson about BrushFire BBQ and I didn’t “try” to get this project.  My last hire of 2019 – Isaac – I didn’t try to hire or even interview and he is literally / physically a blessing from God.  God showing up makes my heart beat deeper and richer.

James 5:16 reflects my story of healing from going beyond mere short-term repentance / simple sorrow and into sharing my hidden truths – confessing my sins to others (for me this is Heather, Pastor Eric, men in my Pilgrim Group and slightly beyond – all safe places to share) and receiving prayer from Heather and these righteous men – it has availeth much.  The recipe to heal can be found in my STORY as my story reflects/echoes James 5:16.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. – ESV


Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. – KJV


Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – NIV


Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. The showers came and everything started growing again. – Message

Each sin destroys and it is clear that an opportunity to heal from the consequences of sin exists in others just as they exist in me.  The Bible talks of hidden secrets (sins) becoming public and I have experienced this as I have seeked healing and true repentance that goes much deeper than mere words as it needs to be supported by community and friendships wrapped in vulnerability and prayer as we bless each other in the Body of Christ with our spiritual gifts.  I have heard a description of healing being like a burden being lifted and this is true but I think a better phrase resonates with me.  Healing is like “writer’s block” being lifted and now I can see where I am better.  I now have greater hope for the future as the present is like/closer to a Heavenly Honeymoon today.


* AEIOU and sometimes Y 🙂 … Heather just pointed out that this should be spelled vows 🙂


  1. Danielle Flack

    Love this thanks for sharing Jake!

  2. Lindi

    What a beautiful post, Jacob! And what a blessing for you and Heather and your family it is! And now, a blessing and inspiration for all of us. Larry and I had a change in the way we understood and lived marriage quite.a few years ago and we are still on a new honeymoon! AndI’m actually encouraged by the “sometimes/usually/ok-not all the time/still often”caveat you gave because, no things aren’t perfect every moment of our marriage, a new trust came about through this change that helps us to see each other’s hearts so that even if the carrying out of our love sometimes flounders a bit, we have a (relatively) new trust about what is actually in each other’s hearts. Occasionally what is in our hearts doesn’t get translated into action but yet, we know our hearts are to love and serve one another. It isn’t that our marriage was bad before – it was quite good – but now it’s better than I could have imagined.

    And your points about the the benefit of confiding and being open to others are so good as well. I have missed my PG way too often due to various issues with sickness, travel, etc. this year and yet I long for those kinds of relationships (while at the same time fearing them somewhat). But it is really one of the main two reasons we wanted to move back here.

  3. Adrienne Crawford

    Thanks for sharing some of your story. I, too, have found The Village to be a safe place for necessary and safe healing. I also echo the sentiment of wanting everyone to experience the transforming power of a loving community. I am happy for you and Heather and hope you continue to grow deeper in love and unity. May this be true for the many marriages in our community!

  4. Michael C

    I love this sentence, especially the punctuation: “Heather and I are (sometimes/usually/ok-not all the time/still often) sooo happy.”

  5. Jeremy

    This made me smile a lot! Even cooler to me is my Dad was browsing the Village website and he’s the one who told me about your post! 🙂

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