peeling, flaking, rubbing, shedding. the old is gone and is going. the new has come and is coming. this was my prayer tonight. my new creationness is ongoing and it’s messy. messy and embarrassing. i feel acutely how this cracking, splitting, broken, old hull still clings annoyingly to my new self. ugh why can’t i just be rid of it? why doesn’t it just fall off for good? sounds like that’s a hope for heaven. perfection is for then. So how do I accept my fractured self? i keep remembering the verse about us having this treasure in jars of clay to show this power comes from God and not us. if i’m a fragile jar for this amazing Christ treasure, then my cracks are purposeful. my splitting, fractured self is necessary for others to see the treasure contained inside. when i try to fill in all my gaps with flashy distractions to hid the embarrassment of my broken self, i’m actually covering up Christ and his power in my life. It makes me think of the other verse that says when I am weak, he is strong. again my weakness is purposeful to declare his glory. so i try to claim my identity of imperfect, of broken, of fragile, of less than. this is almost as counter-cultural as the gospel and painful to watch myself do. but if not for sharing my Christ treasure, whatever else am I here for?
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accepting my broken identity
Thank you Danielle for choosing life on God’s terms and for sharing your heart so shockingly humbly. I, fragile, doubting, in the dark, take courage seeing you walking there beside me. Let’s both remember also Jesus words in Song of Solomon. Jesus, knowing our brokenness and sin says “Arise, My Beautiful One, and Come Away With Me.”. God give us Grace to rest in your presence in your arms! However much a mess we are you like the real us. You made the real us.