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On grief…

Grief comes spewing out when you least expect it. A word here. A taste there. A smell. A song. A question. Insignificant, random moments that are suddenly thrust on you and tears flow and your heart is pierced and all the loss comes falling out in a heap in the middle of God knows where. It’s not arrangeable or scheduled. It can’t be forced. It just happens.  I was at the doctor for the annua...

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A Place to Belong

Last week, my kids, along with many other little Villagers, got to participate in Maker’s Camp. I’ve always looked forward to the summer as a fun time to explore new things and have new experiences, so we’ve been doing summer programs – in one form or another – for 13 years. VBSs, Sports Camps, Library Programs, Mom’s Groups, etc. etc. Most of the time, I would ...

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You Try Too Hard

“You’re too idealistic.” “That’s not realistic.” “That’s naive.” “You try too hard.” “You’re too emotional.” These are phrases I’ve heard over and over and over again, my whole life. I don’t know why, but injustice has always bothered me. As a little kid, I remember the burning feeling in my face when I...

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Myopia

Blurred lines, dull lighting, and indistinct objects were all a normal part of the world in front of me. It’s amazing how one can spend so much of their lifetime with the illusion that they see things clearly.  Another lens, another perspective… can change your world instantly. Lines become clear, lighting more vivid, and objects more distinct.  I was 17 when I received my first set of g...

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Loss

They slowly slip away, one by aging one, limping down alone these ancient saints take little with them but simple, godly hearts and tattered memories.  The things they built become decrepit edifices, abandoned now by children’s children and the children after them. Beside decaying paths the old ones slowly fall away.  Soon there is no memory, no recollection they were here.  The world goes sp...

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Bridges

Cantilevered prayers, desperate floating cries, secure me to a mighty God through Spirit’s groans, bridging to the Maker who weeps of my collapse. Knowing I can’t stand alone, he spans chasm walls, extends the girders, welds beam to beam with an underpinning love  that never lets me go. In the swirling chaos where nothing solid lies, far beneath the seething waves tension and compression war....

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Don’t Bet On Yourself

Recently in the revolving door of meaningless sports events, a basketball team from Canada won the NBA finals. It was the first time they’d ever won a championship. An important player for the team whose play helped push them over the edge to victory was a guy by the name of Fred VanVleet (okay non sports fans, try to stay with me, I promise this isn’t some botched, dry analysis of the NBA season ...

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Way Down By The Water

Here is a song I wrote around Easter. It’s been in the back of my mind since then so I recorded it. Here’s the lyrics: Way down by the water Stood a man I did not know Stood a man who called my name He said, “Come. Come to the water and I’ll give you life.” Way up in the hills Is where I went to hide away Is where I went in fear and shame Way out in the desert I dug a well to find my o...

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Prayer

We often reject the thing that we need most. We often believe the lie that by denying something altogether, then there’s nothing to lose. We do this because we are afraid to want the very thing that could make us or break us.  Afraid of intimacy,  because it risks rejection.  Afraid of trying, because it risks failure.  Afraid of vulnerability, because it risks exposure.  ...

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