I don’t think I am a ‘Christian’ anymore

It’s 11:30 at night as I write this. Earlier this evening I happened upon a story about a pastor in Texas who was encouraging his congregants to continue gathering in public all through the pandemic. He made statements like faith over fear and God was on control. His parents were among his congregation and they were planning a huge gathering for their family at Thanksgiving. They had made statements about hugging and not keeping distance and not wearing masks. His parents didn’t end up going to that dinner. The mother was sick and the father wasn’t feeling that great either. They were both dead by Christmas from COVID.

The Sunday after Christmas that same pastor who had just lost his parents was still planning on having in person services.

Over the last several months I have let go of many friendships, mostly Christians, because not only were they planning on voting for Trump simply because they were seemingly programmed to do so they gave there full throated support of him. And when he lost I saw these same Christians scream about conspiracy theories and evil on the left. Somehow God had lost control of the election and Satan was somehow winning? I even had to shut out Villagers whom I love dearly because I couldn’t reconcile the idea that the Jesus we try to follow at our little church was the same Jesus that so many Trump supporters loved. I am far from perfect, I deal with ugly sin patterns all the time but something just didn’t fit.


I love The Village

I love the people of The Village!

The pastors and their families, the people who are at all different places in there relationship with Jesus, and he older folks, the kids, the newlyweds, the widows. This church is awesome. It’s good medicine.

But it’s the people that make it that.

I love the idea of Jesus. I think it’s a worthy thing to build your life around. I love the man, the symbolism of Christ, the holy ghost, I love it.

I love the liturgy

Whatever cosmic entity exists that we refer to as God I love that too. Not as a father but as the building blocks of everything. The force if you will. I can feel connected to everything and everybody.

I don’t love, or even like Christianity though.

I used to think it was important to defend the faith. To be a witness to the world not only to Christ died and risen but to the fact that not all of us thought gay people were evil. Not all of us were overly concerned with what women chose to do with their bodies. I used to think that it was important to redefine the kingdom based off the hospitality of the early church. To resist empire and populism.

Now, I really don’t give a @$%&.

Let them have Christianity. Let them keep it and continue to warp it into something that Jesus would never recognize. I am retired.

I am not a Christian.

I will keep Christ, the cult of Trump can keep Christianity.

300,000 people in our country alone have lost their lives to Covid

Including the parents of that pastor in Texas

But Christians cannot be bothered not to travel on the holidays.

Christians cannot be bothered to wear masks if they go out.

Seems Christianity has forgotten all about Christ to me.



  1. there is probably a lot to wrestle with and unpack in this writing but I want to make sure that I make clear that I still love the village and then I still consider myself a villager. I also still love Jesus and still consider myself a Christ follower. This is writing I consider it more of an artful writing exploration of ideas and themes. my issues are with the mechanism of Christianity as it is practiced especially in the western world. That is an Enterprise that I just no longer care to defend and have no desire to be a part of anymore.
    I just wanted to make sure that nobody believed or thought that I was having some form of crisis of faith or that I was turning my back on god. I actually feel in the first time in a long time that there is no crisis anymore and I am very comfortable where I am. I love you all.

  2. Jim W

    Thanks for writing this Mike. I really appreciate your comment clarifying (a bit) what you’re wrestling with. For my part, I’ve recently had to drop the label that I had proudly claimed—Evangelical. I also prefer “Christ follower.” Like you, I’m all for the “Evangel,” the Good News and Jesus who is the Good News. I think of how the 9/11 terrorists and several of the white suprematist terrorists have had a a goal to inspire violence on both sides, to start “the war.” I fear the mutual demonization brought about by our political polarization is doing just that. I’m trying to do the hard work of loving and listening to those I disagree with. But sometimes, I just need to ignore or press mute on their FB rants. Anyways, thanks for sharing. You’re not alone.

  3. Hi Mike, I love you too. I didn’t know you blocked me on FaceBook until I read this article.

    In the book, “Speaking of Jesus”, the author talks about the label ‘Jesus Follower’. I think you may enjoy this book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1434702103 as it talks about the author’s journey from the label “Christian” to “Jesus Follower” from the view point of a missionary in the middle east for some of the same reasons you are voicing in your article. And this book is well written – making it a joy to read.

    Would you like to get together? I would enjoy going on a walk with you. Or if you are up to eating somewhere, I would enjoy eating with you.

    When it comes to politics, I am a prolife single issue voter and it is clear that Trump supported life minded organizations while Harris was against these same organizations and was supporting abortion clinics. My hope is not in Trump or in government. My hope is in Jesus. Prolife laws affect the lives of many – – and in my world – they impact many whom I work with and serve alongside.

    I would like to go stretch my legs with you and walk a few blocks – just the 2 of us. Do you like sonoran dogs? Or philly cheesesteaks? We could hangout at the best sonoran dog foodtruck at Ft. Lowell and Prince or go get some really good cheesesteaks at Frankie’s.

    One of the things that I cherish about you and my church is that we can come together on the common ground of ‘healed by Jesus’ and we can have a variety of differing ‘accessories’ that are far less important.

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