From: andrea
Date: Sat Oct  6 12:53:46 EDT 2007
Subject: old patterns

I often get pulled into old patterns of relating with my mom. I think I have out grown them until I feel myself getting angry and wanting to lash out at her like she does with me. This is often after I excitedly invite her into my life as I want to share with her. The slap (figuratively) always surprises me somehow. With my mom, it is put downs that really hurt and I try to stay calm and just tell her 'ouch, that hurt' or 'i'm excited and just want you to be a part of my life and this excitement with me'. These days, if I stay calm, it often helps her to take a step back and not return to the old patterns as much either. Don't know if that helps, but that is my experience with a similar way of relating. We don't debate though, we just attack.

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From: Suki
Date: Mon Oct  8 11:41:30 EDT 2007
Subject: 

Wow - I'd like to know when you are meeting with her so I can pray for you. I think it's a good opportunity to stand firm in what God has given you, even if your mom continues to disagree or doesn't understand. I think God often brings us to a place of living into our newly-discovered identities in a context that will only affirm the old identity. Maybe that's where we grow in strength, or in dependence on Him, or in total freedom to live. I also wonder if it would be good for Kevin to be in on the conversation with your mom, since your new identity is with him rather than with your parents.

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