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From: ginger
Date: Sat Jul 22 09:18:16 MST 2006
Subject: just a girl

Responses
Karen: The single girl, the single guy (8/3/06)

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Karen: The single girl, the single guy (8/3/06)

Wow. Ever heard the song "i'm just a girl" by No Doubt. It sums my the feeling of weakness and worthlessness. I went through a very tomboy stage (kinda still in it) because I felt more accepted that way. I've never felt feminine.
As for the feeling of fear, I can totally relate. When I was younger I lived in SoCal. At the time there was a serial killer near my area called the night stalker. Completely evil right down to the 666 tattooed on him. I was 10 or 11, my dad was away over seas and we lived in an old house that creaked a lot. Whenever I heard noises I would imagine that my dad sent all the Marines to stand on my roof, rifles in hand.
Now as an adult, I am home alone a lot because of Kevin's schedule and I find that I still startle easily, check closets, imagine the worst case senario and experience anxiety at normal shadow movement.
Thank you so much for sharing your fears. It's nice to know we're not alone in the darkness.

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From: Karen
Date: Thu Aug  3 13:28:43 MST 2006
Subject: The single girl, the single guy

I think that girls, across the board, long to be sought after. (Please, please go out of your way for me.) And yet--after so many years of disappointments or outright assaults--it's hard to even acknowledge the validity of that desire.
For two days on the cruise ship, I didn't even encounter a single guy. Then on the second night, I was sweeping down the staircase with ice water in hand about to catch the rest of the show being put on by the deuling piano bar guys. (They played the most outrageous requests, including an over the top "Bohemian Rhapsody" and a most bizarre cover of an infamous Tone Loc song.) In between floors, a guy spotted me and called out, "You with the cup!"
I hadn't even made eye contact yet. I stopped, thinking, well, I'll give him 5 seconds. He was tall, handsome, and unattractively drunk. He gave a short song and dance followed by a come on that I'll spare you the details of.
It was just after midnight. And I didn't feel much like Cinderella on that staircase. But I kept telling myself it had nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me...

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