From: Boojeee
Date: Mon Sep 11 11:29:55 MST 2006
Subject: sunday's poem

This poem formed after singing Be Still at Vespers a couple of weeks ago. The song has the line "The broken sob at the graveside/the wedding bells at noon" which always reminds me of the death of my dad when I was two and my mom was 27 with 3 kids [7yrs, 5yrs, and me]. Usually it prompts me to grieve for my mom or my sisters, because I'm not that good about grieving for myself and the wounds I have endured--especially with Daddy's death, where I don't even have memories of him or anything, just absence-of-father numbness. Anyways, a few Sundays ago, I felt sad for my own loss and for the confusion and darkness that ensued after his death and for the difficulty in grieving at all. It was hard to read it at Vespers and posting it feels a bit awkward, because even though I spend much of my ministering time helping people grieve the losses in their lives that they havn't been able to grieve, I feel stupid for still trying to grieve something that happened 38 years ago. Satan's attack, I know. Anyways, here's the poem... lament by julie brunson little girl, just two, oblivious to the loss looming on her future— fatherless. grownups absent, abandoned to their own grief— motherless. no rudder to maneuver in dense emotional chaos. tears and sobs, what do they mean? what lamentations are given one so young? barren words cover boundless loss; everything will not be OK.

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