Step 0: Enter your password
Username: ginger
Password:
Forgot your password?

The blog is titled:
Mourning has broken

Step 2: If you want to include pictures in your blog, then select the pictures you plan to upload here. Then use the "Get IMG Tag" buttons to produce the HTML code that will make the pictures show up in your blog.
HINTS:
* You can cut & paste the IMG tags anywhere you want in your blog.
* To display the same picture multiple times in your blog, just upload it once, but put multiple tags into your blog.

Step 3: Type your blog, or cut-n-paste it from a text editor
Mourning has broken....my heart. Today marks the two year anniversary of our son's death. Colin was only two weeks old when he left us. He was born prematurely. He spent some time in NICU but came home with us at 10 days old. He died in the early morning and it was ruled as SIDS. Grief is a very strange emotion. It is very physial, headaches, nausea, achiness. It is also extremely bi-polar in the sense that one minute you can be smiling and the next you're crying your eyes out. I am feeling the grief so acutely this time around mostly because I'm not trying to escape it. Instead I'm stewing in it. I feel very responsible for Colin's death for so many reasons. The morning he died, he was sleeping next to me and I may or may not have rolled over onto him. The drs can't really tell one way or another. I have to live with the possibility that I may have accidently smothered my beautiful son. Just saying it makes me feel like throwing up. The other reason I feel so responsible is because had Colin not died, I would not have wanted another child. When I became pregnant with Elliot my family intervened b/c I was extremely unhealthy (eating disorder) and through the help of my family and John Cepin I am finally healthy after 11 years. Did Colin make the ultimate sacrifice for me? I know Christ did but in looking at the past two years of my life it seems that Colin did as well. After he died, I hit bottom. Actually the bottom fell out and I kept falling into an abyss. I wanted to be in heaven just to be near the son I had lost. I have so many questions and unexplained emotions. Sometimes it's like riding the tea cups at Disneyland. I am sorry if this blog is incoherent, but I need to unload. Today is bittersweet. I miss Colin so much but at the same time I am healthy and I have Elliot(who in no way replaces him). My emotions are everywhere, my husband is at work so I will cry myself to sleep tonight by myself. My heart hurts pleaswe pray for me. Thank you.

Step 3: Select any options that apply
nometa If you check this, then the "From:" "Date:" and "Subject:" lines will not be printed. Likewise, the "Write a blog" link on the bottom will not be printed.
nonews If you check this, then this blog will not show up in the "Latest Updates" column on the website.

Step 99: Upload it!