I love the village. I love how we come together as a community who supports and loves and cares for one another. I love how we ask each other about our lives; the good the bad, the hard….it’s so refreshing still after 14 years to be apart of this kind of authenticity. It’s so rich, so scary and I’m so grateful.
As our family enters into a season of preparing to leave for Alaska (spring of 2020) I find myself struggling to stay present with you all and even my life. I want to enjoy the feast of relationships and experiences that are currently set at my table and I find myself often getting pulled into conversation about the future and it’s a future I’m not ready to engage yet. I don’t want to think about a future where I’m not with you all because it makes me think about how sad and lonely I will feel when I’m gone. It’s making want to disconnect all the more, then I’m sad all the more because I don’t want to miss out on the good things here and now. Anyway, I guess all that to say….I long to be seen and pursued but can we not talk about how I’m leaving in 6 months?
Part of me really doesn’t want to go and I’m not leaving yet so I’m hoping we can focus on the present….
Now there may be a time that I need to bring it up or cry because I don’t want to leave or talk about the things I’m excited about; obviously then please encourage me and talk to me about it, but if I’m not thinking about it or talking about it, let’s talk about something else!
And I get it guys, our boat life is an interesting subject to discuss and it’s something that defines me and my life, so it is a legitimate way to pursue me, so there’s grace if you forget or just have a burning thing you need to ask about it. And I won’t be upset if you feel like the Holy Spirit is prompting you to ask me something about it either. I think I’m just hoping that I don’t get asked about it 20 times per week and then feel like I’m missing out on life here because I’m so busy explaining about life there and wading through all the emotions that get brought up every time I think about being gone.
Thanks for hearing me out and I also want to say that when February hits all requests are off. I’ll be in the packing stage then and won’t be able to not think about it so feel free so discuss it freely after that point.
I love you all and will miss you so much when I’m gone. Pray for us as we seek God and his plan for us in the midst of this crazy lifestyle. Thanks 😘