I pray a lot. I even have a ‘prayer tub’ thanks to the generosity of others. In my old age I’ve come to realize that praying is of primal importance. The more time I spend doing it the better life seems. I love talking with God. I love praying with, and for, others. It’s tiring and sometimes it feels like war, but most of the time I come up on the other side of a prayer time refreshed and renewed.
I love that God answers prayer. I’m thrilled that God has spared Jolie. That she will soon return home. It is certainly an answer to prayer. To many prayers. But I wonder. What if God said no? What if God said he was taking Jolie away from us? What if her damaged brain was even more horrifically damaged? Might that also be an answer to prayer? Is a prayer only answered if God gives me the longing of my heart or does he often answer in such a way that my heart is crushed and my longing left to remain unmet.
I used to say God gives you the desires of your heart by either giving you the desire of your heart or changing what it is you desire. Perhaps he also answers by just saying no without explanation. Mom used to say, “Because I said so!” in answer to my demand to know ‘why’ she had said no. Is there a Father in heaven version of that parental response? Am I called to continue loving him and trusting him even if his answer isn’t to my liking? I think so.
It’s impossibly hard in those times when we pour out our hearts and for inexplicable reasons God says no.
That’s when our faith is built, I think.
Just some musings on a day when God seems to be saying yes to our longings.